therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

sherlocksmyth:

i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.

tupacabra:

introductory paragraph of my essay:

image

billyjojo:

imagine getting a tattoo and then hearing the tattoo artist going like “oops”